The Incident
by Angsty Glowstick
Summary: Kai always thought the Blitzkreig boys were weird. But this was simply insane… [misinterpreted YurixBryan]


**The Incident**

**Summary**: Kai always thought the Blitzkreig boys were weird. But this was simply insane… [misinterpreted YurixBryan

**Warnings**: Eheh, sexual innuendo?! It depends, I guess…

**Disclaimer**: Own nothing! Nothing! -cries-

**Notes**: Just a random idea. I know these things are overdone, but they're still funny.

**YBYBYBYB**

Kai's hand moved to cover his mouth, eyes darting around to make sure that no one was watching. Upon determining that there were no prying eyes, he yawned wider, rubbing his eyes. God, he was tired… all he wanted to do was sleep. Yes, sleep sounded good…

Moving down the hall toward his bedroom, he frowned and wondered where Yuri and Bryan were. Spencer had hit the sack a half hour ago, but he hadn't seen the other two for at least two hours now. Not that he minded. It was just suspicious since Yuri took it upon himself to make his presence within a fifty mile radius known at all hours of the day. Goddamn it, the bastard even sang in the bathroom to inform the world that he was taking a shit.

Shrugging, Kai passed by the redhead's closed bedroom door and paused momentarily, waiting for any indicator that it was inhabited. He heard hushed whispering and guessed that both missing boys were there. Turning to continue his journey toward his inviting bed, he was stopped by a loud, excited exclamation.

"It's so big!"

Dead in his tracks, Kai whipped around to face the firmly shut door once again, wondering what the hell Yuri was talking about.

"Yeah, isn't it?" came Bryan's smug voice, "All mine."

A short pause and then, "Mine…" Yuri growled.

There was a sound akin to a crash and then the bed wailed under the obvious combined weight of the two Russians.

"Ah!" Bryan's voice sounded surprised, "A—" the unintelligible word became muffed, and there was thrashing and thumping on the bed.

"Give it to me," came Yuri's whine, "Bryan…"

"No…"

There was more shuffling, the bed making the odd squeak.

"Give it to me!" now Yuri voice sounded harsh.

There was no audible reply except for frantic fumbling. Frowning more deeply, Kai moved closer to the barrier, attempting to discern what was going on.

"You know you want to give it to me," the redhead's was now panting lightly, sounding desperate, and there were more thumps.

"Get off me, Yuri," Bryan's voice was harsh, as the bed began to bounce agitatedly.

"N-No… I want it, I want it…" He was definitely panting.

"Yuri," the rough tone was further pronounced by hard breathing.

The sounds of thrashing and yelping continued, a few swears thrown in. A muffled thud, and then a long, low moan cut through the air.

"Bryyyy….."

Kai's jaw dropped open, and he gaped. This couldn't possibly be what it seemed… impossible! Mind out of the gutter, mind out of the gutter…

"I—ah! If you want it, you're going to have to work for it…"

The bed protested especially loudly as somebody flipped somebody else around, and there was more shuffling. Then the springs of the mattress began to creak, creak, creak, as it began to bounce.

"Ah! Fuck!" screamed Yuri.

"Oohh…."

"Br-Bryan, you're hurting me…" he was whimpering.

A moment of complete stillness ensued, and then, "Don't worry," Bryan gasped soothingly, "It'll get better."

"You better hope it does, you son of a bitch… Ah—YES!"

The bouncing returned full force, harsh breaths intermingled with small cry outs.

"Ah! No!" Yuri was shouting now, "Yes—Nooo!! Y-Yes…"

Kai eyes were wide, and he was rooted to the spot, body going completely stiff as he heard Bryan growl loudly. The bed was bouncing so hard it sounded like it was hitting the floor. The writhing and screaming were non-stop. Didn't these two care about discretion…?!

"OH! So! Close!!!" Bryan was definitely shouting, voice hoarse.

"I'm so close… close, close…" Yuri's pants were husky.

Shuffle shuffle shuffle. Pant pant pant. Bounce Bounce Bounce.

"Just a little bit more," Yuri's moan rang out through the commotion, "Ah!! Don't… stop…"

The frenzied tossing increased to an alarming level. The bed was basically being rendered useless. The combined amount of noise was deafening. There was a final, definite crash, and then…

"FUCK! YES!"

And Kai fainted.

**What Really Happened**

"You really want to see it?" Bryan asked, wiggling his eyebrows. He was seated on Yuri's bed, who standing facing him with his arms crossed.

Yuri rolled his eyes, "Just show it to me, alright?"

"You sure….?"

"Fuck, Bryan! Stop being so difficult and show it to me."

"And what if I don't?"

Yuri's cold eyes glinted. "As your captain I command you to show it to me," he said in a dangerous, quiet voice.

Now it was Bryan's turn to roll his eyes, "Oh alright, alright…"

His hand moved to his jeans pocket, clasping upon something. And then, slowly, he brought it out, turning his closed palm upward. The fingers unfolded with precise, teasing motion, and Yuri bit his tongue to keep himself from growling and then pummeling the other boy. And then, finally, the object was uncovered, and Yuri gasped.

"It's so big!"

Bryan grinned, "Yeah, isn't it? All mine."

Yuri's wide-eyed expression was instantly replaced with a scowl. "Mine…" he growled.

Bryan's what-the-fuck face was lost to a surprised "Ah!" when Yuri pounced, sending the bedside lamp flying. It crashed to the wall, but the redhead couldn't seem to care less, pinning the other to the bed with a maniac expression. His predator hand was attempting to prise the desired object from the other's grasp, but Bryan was not surrendering.

"A—" his exclamation was cut short when Yuri, with deceiving strength, flipped him over so that he had a face full of pillow. Bryan struggled, but Yuri had an iron grip on his hand and he didn't want to give the other what he wanted. He clasped his fingers tighter as they hassled.

"Give it to me," Yuri whined angrily, "Bryan!"

"No!" Bryan gasped, trying to win the scuffle and position his head to breath better at the same time.

They shuffled about on the bed, the force of their struggle making it squeak.

"Give it to me!" Yuri cried, sounding ultimately pissed off.

Bryan was saved replying when his face was smothered into the pillows again. Yuri was now pinning him down with his weight, and both of his hands were working at extracting the object from the lilac-haired boy's unrelenting grip.

"You know you want to give it to me," the redhead was getting desperate.

"Get off me, Yuri," Bryan said angrily, body aching from the other's weight. He began bouncing slightly, attempting to throw the other off, but Yuri held on fast.

"N-No! I want it! I want it!"

There was barely any air left in Bryan's lungs, "Yuri," he choked out.

He writhed more definitely now, wanting the compressing weight of the other off his body. And then, with a surge of renewed energy, his wiggled an elbow free and brought it right into contact with Yuri's side.

Yuri's grip loosened as the gasped, "Bry..." he groaned in pain.

"I—ah!" Bryan moved his hand away when Yuri made a brave attempt at it, "If you want it, you're going to have to work for it!"

Using the advantage of the other's pain, he pushed up and flipped them around, so that now he was on top. Bryan quickly pinned Yuri down as the other began thrashing beneath him.

"Ah! Fuck!" the redhead screamed when he couldn't get free.

Bryan grinned, one hand squeezing Yuri's arm and the other still holding the object in his hand. He still had it! "Oohh!" he cried smugly.

Yuri's struggles were becoming weaker, "B-Bryan, you're hurting me…" he whimpered.

Bryan frowned and looked down, only then realizing how tight his grip on the other's arm was. He let go, and both their eyes moved to look at the angry bruise marks now marring the pale skin.

"Don't worry!" Bryan gasped in guilt, seeing the expression on the other's face, "It'll get better!"

Yuri's eyes flared with icy fire, "You better hope it does, you son of a bitch!"

Bryan was about to retort when Yuri found the chance to get the upper hand. His hand lunged forward and grasped the lilac-haired boy's tightly, putting pressure on the wrist. Bryan found his hand opening of its own accord.

"Ah YES!" Yuri cried out in triumph as both their other hands flew to join in the struggle.

"Ah! NO!" Yuri shouted when Bryan's pair of hands were winning in prying his hands away, "Yes—" he had regained his grip, "Nooo!" Bryan wasn't giving up, but he seemed to be tiring, "Y-Yes…" The bed continuously bounced with their exerted effort, but both wanted the object very, very much…

Bryan began growling, willing his numbing hands into control. Both boys were panting loudly, screaming obscenities and writhing, trying to get better hand-ing…

"OH! So close!" Bryan shouted, managing to pull two fingers of Yuri's away.

But Yuri would not be defeated, "I'm so close!" his fingers pushed back to their previous position, "Close! Close!"

They were both a second away from winning. Their hostility and struggles increased, neither showing signs of giving up.

"Just a little bit more…" Yuri was pleading to himself.

Bryan recycled his previous trick and pried two fingers of the other's away.

"Ah! Don't!" Yuri cried.

Bryan pried a third.

"Stop!!!"

They were jumping around so hard it felt as though they were flying. The bed's creaks rang in their ears. They shouted and tossed and fumbled and cursed. And then, to his absolute horror, Bryan found that his left wrist had given up on him. His hand went slack, and Yuri reflexively caught the object immediately. He jumped up, tearing himself away from the mess of sheets and pillows and limbs they had created, and flew over Bryan's form. He hit the ground with an earth-cracking, glass-shattering, mind-numbing, ear-deafening crash.

"FUCK! YES!"

An odd, though much less-impactful, crash sounded outside the door. Yuri ignored it, already ripping the wrapper of his earned reward away.

"I GOT THE FUCKING LOLLY!"

Bryan lifted himself up onto his elbows on the bed and face-palmed, "There's a ton of them at the candy store."

"Fuck you," Yuri shot at him as he paused in devouring the sweet, "There aren't a ton of _blood flavour _lollies at the store."

"It's not real blood," Bryan sighed.

"Shut up."

"You're just bitter."

"What, from winning?" Yuri grinned wickedly at him.

Bryan scowled and flopped down, defeated twice in one day.

Yuri strolled over, sucking on the lollipop in a very annoying, extremely-on-purpose way. He leaned over the other and grinned again.

"Aww itty witty Bryan lost. Do you want a kiss?"

Bryan directed his full glare on the face hovering above his, "Shut the fuck up."

But Yuri would not back off. He leaned further down, and, with a wink, gave him a slow, soft peck on the cheek.

**YBYBYBYB**

Ahaha, bet you weren't expecting that!

**Two things: **

_Hand-ing_: Think of _footing_ and apply it into the context. Get it?! Haha.

_Blood flavoured lollipop:_ I have no idea if such a thing exists, even though Bryan mentions it's not real blood. Just had to work something for the plot!

I **love** Bryan and Yuri!

( and Kai )

Please **review**, lovelies.


End file.
